"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could.."
The End draws near. '6 years!' almost like what a prisoner would say. But it was nothing like it. Here, I wasn't forced into not was I unhappy. Of course there were moments when I 'knew' I should not be here and moments when all I'd do was lament over my 'unwise' decision. Worst of all were those moments when I hated myself. Self loathing, it can't get worst than that. Overall, at a glance, it was sunshine and rainbows. That's perhaps the best description I can muster with my tiny vocabulary now further shrunk by technical terms, diseases and medications the name of which mean nothing to the everyday traveller.
When did it get so beyond return? When was turning back and walking away not an option? I would like to think it was perhaps never too late but that's not right. The moment I stepped into medicine, the day it all started was the day I knew that I could never turn back. How could I? How can anyone leave behind the opportunity to be a part of something so grand? Grand. Majestic. I remember the day as if it was yesterday. The anticipation of what is to come and what to and what not to expect. I remember telling myself, ' Enough screw-ups! Now focus. You have to give this your everything.' And, I did. I am glad I did. It wasn't just me, don't get me wrong but one person could never do this alone. The teachers, each and every one of them did their fair share of job educating me. I remember my biochemistry teacher consoling me with his most soothing voice. I didn't like him very much. He used to teach a lot of things that I couldn't understand. But that moment all I could think was, 'I am the one who did bad, why is he behaving as if it was his fault?!' Perhaps it was then that I realized that he was as much into (or, more perhaps) my success as I was. That was the kind of care I obtained in 6 years. Even the ones who seemed to hate my face suddenly behaved, if only in their actions, like my older brother and sister when I needed them to. That was weird until I realized I would do the same in my future. Nobody can make it through on their own and who better to realize this than the ones who have been through this? It was nothing short-off a second family and I loved, if not all, most part of it. I hated the exams. I doubt anyone lives who doesn't. I assume even the examiners hate the exams.
Ha!
But, the best part of it all was in the friends. Six years would have been a lot more like actual six years had it not been for the friends I had. But this is nothing new. Be in the same field for six years and you are bound to make friends and some grow so close they're bound to stay with you for a lifetime. So, I was no different. I had friends and they had me. The 'illegal' things we did together, studying together, getting frustrated with the other gender for their weird quirks and lament over the lovers-that-went-wrong together; all of this helped me get through.
With my choices, decisions, I got here and I know I'm not yet ready to conquer all but I'll get there too, in time. Every time I leave the other me behind, I'm setting into a journey the alternate end of which I'll never know except perhaps in my leisure, lost in thoughts pondering what it could've been like.
And, thus, the journey concludes in memories sweeter than any I could explain in words. And, onwards I march into the unknown knowing full well that there are countless faces, disguised as friends and teachers whose conscious wish is for me to succeed and be the best me I can be.
When did it get so beyond return? When was turning back and walking away not an option? I would like to think it was perhaps never too late but that's not right. The moment I stepped into medicine, the day it all started was the day I knew that I could never turn back. How could I? How can anyone leave behind the opportunity to be a part of something so grand? Grand. Majestic. I remember the day as if it was yesterday. The anticipation of what is to come and what to and what not to expect. I remember telling myself, ' Enough screw-ups! Now focus. You have to give this your everything.' And, I did. I am glad I did. It wasn't just me, don't get me wrong but one person could never do this alone. The teachers, each and every one of them did their fair share of job educating me. I remember my biochemistry teacher consoling me with his most soothing voice. I didn't like him very much. He used to teach a lot of things that I couldn't understand. But that moment all I could think was, 'I am the one who did bad, why is he behaving as if it was his fault?!' Perhaps it was then that I realized that he was as much into (or, more perhaps) my success as I was. That was the kind of care I obtained in 6 years. Even the ones who seemed to hate my face suddenly behaved, if only in their actions, like my older brother and sister when I needed them to. That was weird until I realized I would do the same in my future. Nobody can make it through on their own and who better to realize this than the ones who have been through this? It was nothing short-off a second family and I loved, if not all, most part of it. I hated the exams. I doubt anyone lives who doesn't. I assume even the examiners hate the exams.
Ha!
But, the best part of it all was in the friends. Six years would have been a lot more like actual six years had it not been for the friends I had. But this is nothing new. Be in the same field for six years and you are bound to make friends and some grow so close they're bound to stay with you for a lifetime. So, I was no different. I had friends and they had me. The 'illegal' things we did together, studying together, getting frustrated with the other gender for their weird quirks and lament over the lovers-that-went-wrong together; all of this helped me get through.
With my choices, decisions, I got here and I know I'm not yet ready to conquer all but I'll get there too, in time. Every time I leave the other me behind, I'm setting into a journey the alternate end of which I'll never know except perhaps in my leisure, lost in thoughts pondering what it could've been like.
And, thus, the journey concludes in memories sweeter than any I could explain in words. And, onwards I march into the unknown knowing full well that there are countless faces, disguised as friends and teachers whose conscious wish is for me to succeed and be the best me I can be.
'"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference."
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference."
